oh god

I still have this thing?

Wh-… what do I do with it? 

The Joys of Working at Wal-Mart

Excerpt from an old blog of mine from the long lost year of 2008:

Query: What is unprofessional about reciting company policy?
Psychologically, I should be conditioned to NOT want to follow policy because it has shown to get me in trouble if I act strongly on it.
Let’s compare this to the Pavlov’s Dog experiment in conditioning. However, imagine if Pavlov was a sadistic fuck who would instruct you to push a button, and when you pushed it, it would give you a dollar. Instead of giving some scholarly response, Pavlov would then tell you to push the button again because it’s the right thing to do. When pushed again, the device cuts your balls off. Pavlov then tells you that you’re a fucking moron.

I figured out how to control the weather.

If I roll down my car window and leave it open overnight, it will rain an unreasonable amount all night, and there will probably be floods in many areas of the country, and my car will smell like fish for a week.

If I leave my windows up, the next day’s temperature will hit roughly 200 degrees Fahrenheit and my car will turn into an oven on wheels that causes my skin to peel off whenever I get in it.

I will make so much money with this.

Tumblr. How Does It Work?

Probably by using magnets.

But seriously though, I don’t understand what this is supposed to be used for. Is it a blog? Is it a social networking site? Is it a place where I can upload all of those pictures of cats saying things with terrible grammar?

Please educate me.